Parenting and Pop Culture: How to Have Good conversations

The biggest song of 1980 was…

Do you remember?

I was eleven years old and I knew all of the lyrics.  Didn’t know what they meant, but I could sing them!

On a Sunday afternoon after listening to American Top 40, I came into the living room and said to Dad,
“My favorite song is #1 again!  ‘Call Me’ by Blondie!  Theme to The American Gigolo!”

Looking back, I can imagine the thoughts running through Dad’s mind. 

“Really?  The kid is eleven and I have to have this discussion?”

Yup.

And parents have been in that place for a while now. 

If you haven’t yet, just wait.  Or panic.  Or stay in denial.  Your call.

There is, however, a good way to create meaningful discussions about the pop culture that surrounds us.  I learned this almost 20 years ago from Walt Mueller (cpyu.org) and I have been using it ever since!

First, discuss what the song (or movie or book, etc.) is about.  No judging.  Just identifying.

Next, discuss what the song celebrates that is worth celebrating.  This means that the content says/implies that something is good, and you agree.  Look for common ground.  Be positive about finding positive things!

Then, discuss what the song celebrates that is not worth celebrating.  This means that the content says/implies that something is good, and you disagree.  No need to get passionate or preachy.  A simple statement of disagreement will do.

Finally, seek to identify what content can be a bridge to a deeper discussion about life or faith or values. 

Notice the keyword in each direction: discuss.  Don’t lecture.  Discuss.  Ask questions and listen without interrupting.  You know you are doing well if they start asking what you think. 

When you take this approach, you will discover something that is both enlightening and hopeful:  there are some good songs out there!  At any given moment, you are likely to find a song on Billboards Hot 100 that is making a good observation or asking a good question or revealing a deep-felt human need.

Want a good place to start?

Try this one.  It is number 13 on the charts this week (last week of October, 2019).